Dot.Com

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Haiz.

I'm so down. why must i have the feeling that he don't care about me anymore? no, correction. rather, he don't care MUCH about me. maybe he still does, but he don't show. after one year, i realised i missed his old self. the first 8 months maybe? i know, people always say the first few months are honeymoon period, everything is just so sweet.

To be frank, i always have a problem when my boyfriend enters a new college or school. my boyfriends will never be themselves; just like how i knew them before they start school. okay, its a stupid problem, but i can assure you, its been happening in my life throughout. like serious shit. it kept me wondering why.............. why.............. WHYYYY !!! macam mane aku tak giler, these things been loitering around in my mind lately. ARGH. i am someone who won't give up if i am not satisfied with the answer given. i will ask why why why. THAT is WHY people always get irritated with me, moreover my baby. for him, if he anwers me, that will be his final answer. but for me, there is still why to his final answer, and i will never be satisfied. HOW LIKE THAT laaaaaaa !!!!

For all you know, it is the same problem with girls whose boyfriend just bought his NEW bike !! okay fine, i shouldn't put the similarity in that way. wrong. cause my baby still spends time with me, always, or whenever we could. we still do have our 'only 2 hour meetup' just to see each other and spent that little time together. so how now? the problem lies IN ME, isn't it? do you think i have a problem with MYSELF? comments?! GRR.

It's contradicting, i swear. ARGH. cause at times i loved the way he is now, but at times i hate & i miss himself last time. i talked to a friend. that friend said, i expect tooooo much of him. yala hor, i expect alot from him la maybe, that causes my mind to think/imagine very,very wildly. FUHHH. PARAHHHHHH !!! he told me before, i always expect him to do something that won't even cross his mind. well, positive thinking please acah !! i have to accept him the way he is. we fought abit in msn just now. he told me, love a person for the way he is, and not what i want the person to be. yah, something like that. tu part terus aku mcm sebak la gitu, airmata ibu jalan terus. ahaii, i also got feelings.

Its okay la acah, think positive and everything's gonna be alrite. mama once said in order to last we have to have lots and lots of patience and endurance. & she said baby still schooling, we have a looooonnnggg way to go. a lot of patience needed. abeh, aku plak taktau sabar nye orang, selagi bleh rempuh aku rempuh je sampai dead end. rempuh traffic light la, pikir aku ape nak rempuh2. haha.

Errrm.. so this entry is basically for myself, a note to myself. or rather an entry to let out my feelings, thats it. ok i'm going to bed. i love my baby. i hope he's feeling okay, cause i made him down i guess. *hugs baby* this song is for him (chey, madang DJ je aku kadang2), dangerously in love. dangerous terussss k. tu sebab aku gila babi ni macam, no eh bukan flu babi eh. wrong okay !! haha. :)

♥ 3:24 AM